Why is that social norms seem to vanish around pregnant women?

 

A few weeks ago, someone work came up and asked me, "So how much weight have you gained?" I know they didn't mean to be rude.. but come on.. really? Weight is a weird thing. It's a number that people like to keep private unless they are seeing a trend of a decreasing number.. and even then they usually just share the number thats been decreased not the new number of their weight. Social norm: unless you are a doctor, nurse, or work at the DMV, you don't ask someone how much they weigh. And here is the shocker ladies and gentlemen.. the same principle goes when a lady has a baby in her tummy. I'd even say, especially when a lady has a baby in her tummy! Yes, we are aware that we are gaining weight and look huge. Yes, we know that it is a legitimate and necessary time to be putting on the pounds. But chances are, that number on the scale is bigger than we've ever seen before and regardless of the reasons, no one likes a big number.

Yesterday, my tall, thin, beautiful sister-in-law announced in Relief Society that she is expecting her second baby! The lady next to her leaned over and said, "I wasn't going to say anything, but you haven't been looking as skinny as you normally do." Again, I realize this wasn't meant to be some malicious jab.. but people.. you're killin' me! Nobody wants to hear that! Of course we know that physical changes are part of the package, but self image doesn't just disappear for nine months. Many women have difficulties with self-esteem as it is and it certainly doesn't get better when you add a gargantuan stomach, stretch marks, growing feet, swollen ankles, and acne to the mix.

So here's a good rule of thumb.. if you wouldn't say it normally, don't say it to a pregnant woman.

If you really want to comment, here are some more acceptable options:

-Tell her she is "glowing" or "radiant."

-Mention how the baby is growing and getting bigger (rather than the mom.)

-The word "bump" described as "cute" "darling" or "perfect."

-Someone told me I had "blossomed" and I thought it was sweet.

 

WHATEVER YOU DO.. LEAVE OUT WEIGHT AND SIZE!